“I’ll pour pure water over you and scrub you clean. I’ll give you a new heart, put a new spirit in you."

Ezekiel 36:25 (The Message//Remix)

Monday, September 20, 2010

... I feel like I am stuck in the waves.

I can't seem to find my way up
One wave knocks me down another
comes and keeps me under
I'm finding it hard to find
a place to breathe
a moment of air, of freedom, of peace.
A letter is a piece of paper so why
does it determine my future
how can something so small and so
ordinary possibly decide my fate of six
months in the future.

This is about how I feel right now. I am incredibly lost and confused about what might happen when I mail off my letter tomorrow. I just pray God will keep watch over it and provide the people who will review my case with the wisdom to make the correct decision. I can't sleep, I keep giving myself asthma attacks from stress, and I am beginning to start getting sick - like my stomach. I just need this to be done soon. I really need to find my peace and quite time. I need my oboe to get here now... maybe the music will help me sort through my jumbled thoughts...

I guess what I am saying is I
just need a friend. I just
need a hand from someone
looking in. I know there is light
out there somewhere, I have seen
it all before, but for now it just the
dark of night holding me tight.
I know you'll find me, if I just can
focus on what I need. If I just can focus
on the purpose for which I am sitting here.
There has to be something, that I
am not seeing. Something beyond this last
wave crashing over and pushing me away from
all those who see.

ps. I decided that I am facing my fears and I am going to enter a song or two into a songwriters contest. Also my school has an arts contest that I am going to make a music video for... Those of you who have read/heard my music do ya'll have any suggestions on which ones I should use/think about using.

love you all!
Philippians 4:12-13

christina nicole