“I’ll pour pure water over you and scrub you clean. I’ll give you a new heart, put a new spirit in you."

Ezekiel 36:25 (The Message//Remix)

Thursday, February 17, 2011

...I can finally breathe

So this semester has been complete insanity! It is already midterms and I have no idea what I have accomplished this semester... oh except the chromatic 2 octave scale on the clarinet!! That is my most recent music ed accomplishment as of 30 minutes ago :)

Lately, I can't tell where I am going or what I am supposed to do (big surprise right?) I know music ed is right but is Southeastern? I think so, I think I am just very stressed out and being pushed to my limits. FSU was an idea but then my audition opportunity closed very quickly. My question is... God if you want me here, why? What can I do to make the Music Ed program a little bit more accomplish-able! I think I need to get away from Lakeland and go do something! Even if it is just a few hours-I need to clear my head.

"If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change the way you think about it." - Mary Engelbreit

My goal right now: to get back on top of things and give myself some creative freedom! I am so stuck in Music Education land that I have forgotten what it is like to sit and draw for a few hours, or sit at the piano and just write... Without stupid rules! I need to get away from the lakes and go see the Beach! That is one thing that I miss a lot right now. Niceville is 20 minutes from the beach or 5 minutes from the bay. Here I am at least an hour away from the beach and I am surrounded by lakes... they are very uninspiring to me because I can see the end. I want to be able to sit and just stare at how huge the world really is.

I want to stare and see how big God really is!

Christina Nicole