“I’ll pour pure water over you and scrub you clean. I’ll give you a new heart, put a new spirit in you."

Ezekiel 36:25 (The Message//Remix)

Monday, May 31, 2010

... I can find a friend.

Tonight I had an intense talk with my best friend and it only made me realize how much love I have for this person. This person means more to me than I thought and it took a church service this morning to realize just how much he means to me. This morning we talked about friendship and what it means to be a friend. The example that they used was the friendship between David and Jonathan... two of the most unlikely people to be friends but what really hit me is that "an immediate bond was forged between them" by God. Another version I have says that "Jonathan became one in spirit with David, and he loved him as himself." (1 Samuel 18:1)

David: the man God appointed to be King of Israel
Jonathan: the heir to the throne

David became closer than a brother to Jonathan and he did anything to protect him... even though David would take the throne and Jonathan would STILL be second in command, only not to his family, but to a Shepard boy from Bethlehem (which at the time was a very lowly city).

so what is a friend?
1.) a friend realizes the challenges in that relationship. They don't run away from them, or try to act like they don't exist. They tackle them head on TOGETHER and work through them in order to figure out how to make the friendship work no matter what! challenges can also be conflict. Conflict has to be dealt with. and you know what! I don't care what anyone says, conflict is healthy for any relationship! But it can serve two purposes... it can destroy or it can establish an even stronger bond.

2.) a friend is committed to you. NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO! a friend stays put and says "I don't care what you do, or where you go - I will still love you, and I will still stand here!"

3.) a friend protects you. Whether you want your friend there or not, a friend will get involved in your battles and head up the army so that you don't have to fight alone!

4.) a friend will not let you abandon your dreams! They are there to remind you of your dreams, to help you get back on track when you loose your focus. One of my favorite quotes is "A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart, and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words!" I feel like this says everything, at least to me! A true friend knows you inside and out and won't let you forget your desires and won't let you give up!

5.)finally... a friend is a friend for life. Did you hear me! I said FOR LIFE! You can't get rid of me! I am hear for good. David and Jonathan faced so many trials that could have easily ripped them apart... they spent years apart from each other, but yet they still remained friends until the end when Jonathan was killed in battle. and You hear David speak about their relationship in 2 Samuel, about how important Jonathan meant to him! Proverbs 17:17a says "Friends love through all kinds of weather!"

Proverbs 18:24 "Friends come and friends go, but a true friend sticks by you like family."

Now, by no means did I come up with any of this, but I did find this interesting. This is the THIRD time I have encountered this story and "friendship" since Wednesday. So I really wanted to take the time to think about it. I'm not one who has a lot of "friends" I have a lot of acquaintances but as far as people who will keep up with me after I leave Niceville, I could probably count them on 2 hands (which is much better than it used to be). And then the conversations I have had today, it just blows my mind! I have a new developing friendship with someone I haven't seen in years, but they actually seem to genuinely care and I don't understand why! I have an engaged couple... that enjoys my company! and I have the best friend that anyone could ever ask for! Don't get me wrong, I have many other people that mean so very much to me but these four people have really been on my mind the past few days. These four people and my bizarre friendships with them. But, for now I have one that needs a little reminder of why we are friends. So if David and Jonathan are the "biblical example" here goes everything... total vulnerability. this is for my best friend!

1.) A friend realizes the challenges/conflicts. Did You know that we have never not resolved a conflict! and none of them have ever ended badly! Did you also realize that we are polar opposites when it comes to personality but yet somehow it still works. Yeah, I go out with big groups, but guess what you sacrifice too. You step away sometimes to come watch a movie with me cause I don't want to be with a bunch of people, and you will go inside Dairy Queen and eat a blizzard with me so that I can be a foolish little girl for 5 minutes.

2.) A friend is committed to you no matter what! Alright, guess what you tried to get rid of me because you thought it would be better for me, but you know what It didn't work! Remember when you also helped me through all my other broken relationships despite fears of your own about ours!

3.) A friend protects you. Dude, you have been leading the army in like 90% of my battles! You are the one to get heated because such and such said this or did this to me. when I just tried to take it and hold everything in, you were the one standing there saying "Its okay to go talk to them about it!" well maybe not exactly like that but still you get what I mean.

4.) A friend will not let you abandon your dreams. Alright, seriously now think about me when I met you. I honestly did not think I could sing or could ever make it in any music career. You helped me find the strength to keep going. You were the first one to hear my songs, and you encourage me to keep writing! and guess what you are the only one with a song dedicated to them! oh and by the way, I still credit you as part of the reason I got my solo in Show Choir this year. Then with everything with ministry and trying to find where I fit into the mold, you were always there. ALWAYS! even when I said I want to be a freaking missionary! I told you I wanted to endanger my life to love others... I believe those were my exact words too haha. You told me I could do it! oh, and don't forget that I hated myself when you first met me! and had no self-confidence until about 6 months ago. Granted that wasn't all you, but without a little bit of help, some positive words to hold onto I wouldn't be where I stand right now, and I definitely would not be about to risk everything to study Music and Missions. Come on now, do you know me at all!

5.) Finally, a friend is a friend for life. As much as I know you don't believe me on this one I know it is true. Our friendship might change some but never will it die or go away. There is too much between us.

You know this isn't where I planned this to go. But sometimes it isn't about the crowd but it is about reaching the one. and if I can't reach the person that means the most to me right now, then how can expect to reach anyone else! I have to try to show you that it isn't one sided and if it means proclaiming to the world what our friendship means to me... so be it! I don't give up and I know you don't either. There is so much on the other side that you and I can't see! Just remember, I have been given white Puerto Rican blood now! :) "a true friend sticks to you like family!"

While the second half of this post was kind of intended for one person, my challenge to you is to examine the friendships in your life. What are they like, what could be better! and what can you do to better the other person's view of the relationship. Sometimes I get so caught up in what I am doing for my best friend that I forget to stop and look at what he is doing for me! How he has impacted my life and what my life would be like without him!

As corny as this sounds, for close to 3 years I prayed for a friend...
... and I got so much more than I ever expected!

christina nicole
Proverbs 18:24

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

here by the water...

to me "here by the water" is something deeper than I have ever known. I have been blessed to live 20 min away from the gulf of mexico my entire life and the water is something that I have always connected with, somewhere where I always connect with God. Whether it be on the beach, looking over the bay, or a pond, or just dancing in the rain, somewhere I always find him, when I am... here by the water. so in a way "here by the water" represents my relationship with God and it is where I feel closest to him.

Before I write out the song, I kind of need to explain it. I already explained the water thing, but this song is about a relationship. I have been reading this book called "Crazy Love" by Francis Chan and it really has turned my world upside down. It talks about how we are supposed to love God and how God shows us he loves us, and the kind of relationship God desires with us! It really is amazing! But anyways, when I talk about God I talk about the relationship aspect of it all first! For me, it is so important to know that he is just like a human man... well kinda. But he is also just like a woman, after all, he did create us in his image. He longs to be desired, wants us to be thinking about him, talking to him, but he is still strong, a protector, and the greatest teacher. But a lot of people miss the tender side of the relationship, the intimacy between God and well in this case... me. I will try to put up a recording later but for now, here is my newest song. oh and by the way, it is two voices. Everything in parenthesis is the "God figure."

"Here By the Water"
by christina nicole

I can't feel you all the time
(I'm here listen for my voice)
I can't see what's up ahead
am I really safe from harm (follow me you're safe from harm)
I can't let Go (Just let Go)
of the fear I have inside
How can I know if you are here with me (I am Here)
here by the water

(won't you let me
show you how to live
show you how to love
I wanna be on your mind tonight
I wanna be yours
So won't you stay and dance with me
I'll teach you how to sing and be free
I wanna be all you ever need
I wanna be yours
Here by the water)

I'm listening, I'm here by the water
No reflection, to show where I stand
I need you to show me
take my hand and lead me
through this land of shifting sand

(I'm here by the water, I'm holding you close
my words come with the wind, are you listening
take my hand and I will lead
we'll go through this together
let my light show you what to see)

Lord I'm cryin'
Show me how to live
won't you show me how to love
I wanna see you in my reflection
I wanna be yours
so won't you show me how to dance
and teach me how to sing
I wanna be wrapped up in your arms
I wanna be yours
here by the water

when the waves crash all around me
I know I'm safe in your arms
When the oceans growing hungry
I know you won't let go

I'll take a leap of faith, I'll stand with you today
my life's worth living cause you never even step away
I'm growing stronger too, because my love in you
here in the water where I'm learning all that I can do

Lord I'm cryin' (won't you let me)
Show me how to live (show you how to live)
won't you show me how to love (show you how to love)
I wanna be on your mind tonight (I wanna be on your mind tonight)
I wanna be yours (I wanna be yours)
so won't you show me how to dance (i'll teach you how to dance)
and teach me how to sing (how to sing and be free)
I wanna be wrapped up in your arms
(I wanna be all you ever need)
I wanna be yours (I wanna be yours)
here by the water

christina nicole
Matthew 11:27-30

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

...I'm being different.

So, I started trying to think of a creative way to say Hello. I looked up all sorts of different languages but nothing really stuck out to me. So... Hi! my name is Christina but I have always been Cricket since I can remember.

A little about me: I LOVE music! I live, sleep, eat, breathe, music! and one day I am determined to at least be able to play most instruments! Music is such an outlet for emotions kept up inside of you and I can't express how much joy it brings! But of course while I love music, my main passion is expressing to others my love for my God especially through my music.

"I am about to burst with song; I can't keep quiet about you.God, my God, I can't thank you enough!" Psalm 30:12

While music is my passion and I am "studying" music in school, I want to go into missions. There I said it... I want to be a missionary. Wow! that feels good to say, so congrats on being the first to hear that.

So why is this entitled, "I'm being different?" Well, at first I always said that I would never blog because... EVERYONE does it! Okay not everyone, but as I was reading one of my friends' blogs I realized, everyone has their own things to say, and no one says the same thing quite the same. So whether one person reads this or a thousand people read this, I have something to say, and I know of at least one person who thinks it is important :) so here I am... I am being different, but what does that mean. Romans 12:2 says "Don't become so well adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God, You'll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you." So the question I ask is how am I being different, or how are you different?

Think about it... how many people are actually okay with not fitting in?

...with "being different"

christina nicole

Romans 12:1-2